Monday, October 29, 2012

Irons In the Fire

Hello friends, this post is about jobs and a small bit about what else I've been up to since we last chatted (my last post).


I haven't found a career job, but I've got ideas for how to do so later.  I will getting my PMP Certification and I am working with my roommate to get her business off the ground.  I am now a bartender.  The pictures from the modeling stuff came in...enjoy!


I will be updating the other post (re: Finding a Job) soon to reflect the things I've learned since then.  It has become increasingly clear that having a temp Visa (work/holiday Visa) is a non-starter for a career job.  To date, I've applied to 150 jobs and met with 5 different headhunters (recruiting agencies) resulting in zero interviews.  I'd like to take a second to explain this...before my mother has a heart attack (hi mom!).  :)

When there is a large number of people on the market for a job that you are after and you have an obvious deficiency (in this case, my Visa) it is "easy" for recruiters to screen you out.  This is true regardless of location (and should be fairly obvious).  What is not obvious is when I apply to contract positions that circumvent the Visa conundrum, I still have no luck.  I'll leave out my theories as to why this is the case and will instead just discuss possible solutions/mitigations.

Fiercely Mitigating in Public:

1. Before the end of the year, I'm going to get the PMP certification.  Luckily, I have the professional experience to qualify; now I just need to get the course credits (apparently this must be done through an accredited PMP something something...don't worry, I found a good and cheap way to do legitimately this).  PMP is seemingly highly sought after and is also international, therefore it behooves me to get it regardless of location.

2. This is the exciting part...I'm helping my roommate get her company ("social enterprise") off the ground.  This is good for so many reasons.  Let's start with the feel-good reasons:  recycling excess textiles is a great goal, it will involve the community, it appeals even to half-tree-huggers...shrub-huggers? and it will train unskilled workers and lead to overall job creation.  Now, the selfish reasons: It makes me feel good to help someone accomplish their passion (and Cara is, if nothing else, passionate about this), it is legit business experience, I can put my MBA to use in a very practical way, and having Australian experience on a resume will look far better than US experience.  What's great is I believe in this work, so the worst that happens is I help out and I get practical experience along the way.

Other Irons:

1. Errr...I'm a bartender...with a master's degree?  It is the only time I've ever lied on a resume...and it was to take out my education (bachelor's and master's).  Anyway, I did my "trial" Saturday night and was told "I talked to multiple people that worked with you tonight, they all said you did fantastic and they can't believe you haven't done bar work before"...They apparently weren't paying attention when I had to ask people to repeat themselves a thousand times because I didn't know what things were.  I mean, honestly, who asks for drinks like this: Chivas and Coke, Vodka and Orange (not orange juice...but "orange"), Elephant shot, a long island when the bar is slammed, and a "wet pussy".  No, I'm not kidding.  That is the MOST popular shot here in Melbourne (just here, not anywhere else in Australia).  Why would you name a shot that way?  It's like they wanted to make the bartender's life shitty.  I can't count how many girls came up and asked for that shot...but in the quietest voice ever because they're embarrassed to ask for a...well, you know.  Don't worry, after having them repeat it at least three times, they would end up yelling it at the end...which made us both feel awkward instead of just one of us.  Anyway...I have a job.

2. I got the modeling pictures back.  The only way I can explain how weird it is to see a professional photo of yourself is to liken it to the first time you heard your voice on recording.  Yes, I'm aware I see myself every day in the mirror when I get ready in the morning...but this is different, I assure you.  I provided pictures below (and I'll probably regret it) because they gave me the disk of 84 (yes, 84!!!) pictures.  I'll give you a couple "good" ones and a couple ones to laugh about...I truly hope you can distinguish which one is which...screw it, I'm going to provide captions.  Things I've learned about me: I default to a blank stare, having a white background is just cruel...if I was wearing less clothes I'd be camouflaged, and my smile is crooked.  Oh, and I'm completely ok with all of that, vanity be damned...I like me even though I look like a "real person". I was writing this...I got a call from the agency and they want me to be an extra on a show called "Neighbors".  If this works out, I'll try to find a clip of it when it's aired so you can bask in my extra-ness...I don't mean to brag...but I do stand around very well.  I also sit very well.  I hope these add to my qualifications.  Maybe I need to write a new resume for modeling.  "Sits well, stands well, looks lost (can anyone say prequel to the series Lost?), does awkward well, and would be good for skin cancer commercials."  Yep, those qualifications sell themselves...


I'm worried that out of 84 shots, THIS was the best.

If you're thinking I look like I don't know what I'm doing in this's because I don't.  I'm willing to bet he had just said, "no, look INTO the camera".  Well, I looked...lost.  

This is me showing my dangerous side.  I wear hoodies and don't do my hair.  I'm dangerous...

I...think my mom will appreciate this the most.  I've had this same crooked-half-assed-smile for my entire life.  

1 comment:

  1. Very nice GQ, now go make me a "wet pussy"!