Life Update

It's now been 7 weeks since I landed and started this little endeavor, let's see where life is at this stage:

Summary:
I have mixed feelings.  This city is beautiful, I could go on and on about why it's great.  The people are good; eclectic and generally quite congenial.  But, finding a job has been difficult, finding friends can be frustrating and lastly, keeping in touch has been a losing battle and it makes me sad.  So, it's mixed, "this life comes with some doubts".  How about you and I take a stroll through the details below?

The City:
My god, the city.  I love it.  My huddled mass has been yearning to breath free for a while...and this is great (hyperbolic enough for you?).  The public transportation, the arts, the cultures, the scenery, the proximity to the ocean, the values...for instance, there's a City Council election pamphlet on the table and I'll name some of the priorities: "Arts events, future park needs, airport rail link, more trees in CBD [central business district]..."  Now, I realize not all of us are quite so keen to hippy-dom, so here's some priorities for the more business minded: "commit the next 4 years to job generation, small business development fund, generate more events and activity for business..."  Little bit'a sumpin' sumpin' for everyone right?

That barely scratches the surface of why I think this city is great.  But, let me caution, this is not *necessarily* a touristy city, BUT it is a great city to live in.  I'd say visit here for a week and then use it to get to other great destinations in the country.  At some point I'll probably write a post recommending things to do here.  In due time, in due time.

Finding Work:
Well, as mentioned in the last post "Irons In the Fire" I have a few different avenues I'm pursuing.  First and foremost, I'm helping out with ReFab Centre for Recycled Textiles (Cara's startup social enterprise).  In general, I'm doing business consulting, i.e. whatever needs to be done.  More specifically, I'm helping with: finding funding (there are numerous sources for funding and I have a long google doc - yes I'm a nerd - to keep track of everything being vetted), writing the business plan, and creating an excel sheet to make financial forecasts.  The finances are interesting because everything is up in the air and currently a guess, so it will involve copious amounts of research to get initial numbers on which to base decisions.  Once those are more concrete, I can start detailing out "how much and when" (which basically means how much money it'll cost and when those costs will be incurred).  This leads to graphs I'll use to make the business plan more professional and allowing potential investors a more accurate picture of the business.  Truly, there's more than just that going on, but that's the main points.  Phew, ok, next job.

As mentioned, I'm a "model"...idiot?  (Zoolander reference...the magazine cover...nevermind). :)  So, I had my first "casting" as an extra.  I am now officially an "actor".  Basically, my "acting" consisted of walking back and forth behind the actual actors on a show called Neighbours (with the "u"...because it's British). It's apparently a fairly popular show, been running for 30 years or so.  Anyway, I need to "walk with purpose" more.  Oddly, I have a predilection for meandering as it turns out.  Or rather, appearing as though I'm meandering.  And...so much so that she said I should "pretend to walk to the post office to mail something."  Yes, these were my instructions.  Not just: "stop staring at the sky and the rest of the set when you walk so damn slow!  Walk fast and look ahead dammit!"  ...Which we can only assume is what she was trying to say.  I also had a magical fake phone conversation in the phone booth that's on their set.  Again, not to brag: nailed it!  I picked up that phone and mimed a fantastical conversation about cats.  It's just a matter of time before Spielberg catches wind of my faux phone conversation and asks me about a lead role.  Mr Spielberg: get ready to play hardball with contract negotiations!  Er...anyway, it was fun and I got some book reading done during the downtime.  Next job.

I'm a "full on" (they like saying this phrase here) bartender.  I now work at Alumbra (club on a pier, discussed in a previous post) and I'm a hired gun.  Hired gun meaning: I get texts from a temp agency for random bartending jobs around the city.  For example, I just got back from my first one today.  The job: Going to a prep school professor's house and bartending for his 52nd birthday at his apartment with 20 of his academic friends.  Now, I want to say ahead of time, it's a job and it's reasonable hours so I'm VERY VERY appreciative of that.  Now, I want to say why academics remind me of inbred royalty (yes, it's hyperbole again, just try to keep in mind I JUST got done with the shift and "bitterness consumes me"...please note, I do NOT feel this way about all academics, just those who fit the stereotype).  He started out seeming fine, I had a nice little chat with him about his book collection, of which I owned three of the same books (minus the plethora of Catholicism books....because he works at a Catholic prep school).  That was nice.  Then his guests started arriving.  He has a buzzer to buzz people in and every time someone would ring it from downstairs, he'd answer with "Dr. XYZ's residence".  Yes, please remind your GUESTS who ALREADY know you that you're a doctor, I've been told that makes everyone feel terribly welcome...  Oh, and your lady friend who snapped her fingers to get my attention for a drink, next time the drink is going in her face.  The general rudeness and laughable fitting of the academic stereotypes aside, the evening went fairly well.  I hope to do regular hours like this more often...but with people who treat people like people.  Life lesson: Don't be an asshole, even to the people who are serving you.

Lastly, I've got my resume out with some friendly people: Ana's sister, a project manager I met through mutual friends, and various new recruiting agencies.  I hope...HOPE...it turns out well.  Let's be honest, I very much thought finding a job would go quite differently upon arrival here.  I grossly underestimated the incestuous culture (it's VERY "who you know" not "what you know"....as indicated by MANY people I've spoken with) and the need for a Permanent Resident visa.  This was my fault and I will continue building a network and hopefully will overcome.  Oh, and THANK YOU to those who wrote recommendations for me on LinkedIn.  It is much appreciated and I hope to find a way to help you in the future as well.

Life in General:
I had these TED talks recommended to me and I think they're quite worth listening to (see end of post).  If you'll allow me to briefly overshare (I know, you only THOUGHT I was oversharing before), I'd like to tell you why these are important to me.  Perhaps (definitely) I over-think things/life, but I've found that in life I am not often the person that is called when someone is having trouble.  This fact has always bothered me because I've tried to live my life by being honest with my friends and helping where I can.  I've said it before, but: I'm incredibly lucky to have such good friends and really, I'd like for them to feel welcome to ask for things because I will go far out of my way to do so.  The talks below, I believe, are a good summary of my conclusion re: introspection.

Basically, I've never been good at being vulnerable.  AND, I am next to incapable of asking for things. It is very difficult to expect others to ask you for things when you can't ask them.  Anyway, this is not me feeling unloved (read above, I'm already lucky in that arena), it is an epiphany for how to show others how much THEY are loved.  I hope it helps you too; at very least it will reaffirm your innate humanity and help you understand that not everyone is born that way, but most strive to be.  Cheers!


http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_listening_to_shame.html

I'm a model?

I am now a "model" at a company called Real People...I'll go ahead and let that sink in.

Now, you may have a lot of questions running through your head right now.  I'll list some below:

- WTF?  No, really, what the f#$%?

- What company would hire YOU as a model?

- Was this when you "bought a mattress" and the two guys were with you in the room?  You left out the 'real' ending didn't you?  The one where they brought cameras...

- Weren't you trying to get a career-type job?

- How did this happen?

I'll start by answering the last question and hopefully when I'm done the rest will be answered as well.  First off, pale is the new tan.  Mark my words, the trend is only a season away.

So, I'm browsing the job site, doing a little job searching, cha know, getting crazy...starting a party...when I run across this thing that says: "looking for real people".  Well, as you know, I am real.  Annnnd, also job-less.  Naturally, idle hands...something something...so I went ahead and signed up.  By signed up, I mean that I sent them my professional resume, no picture, and had an interview a few days later.  I think they saw "engineer" on the resume and thought "wow, this guy IS real!" right?  Or, more likely, everyone gets an interview that signs up...

I went.  After waiting an hour and a half in the lobby...when I was respectfully on time...I met with a very chatty individual who culminated his speech by saying I have a "very commercial face".  Let's keep this in perspective...the "hiring manager" for the 'talent company' said this.  Which means, it could have been true...but likely he just wanted my bid-nass (business).  For argument's sake, we'll go ahead and assume his statement is true...  Also, I did NOT need him to say: "and it looks like you're a bit shorter, which is good.  It's good to be shorter for the camera because they do wide shots.  You know Tom Cruise right?  He's great for the camera.  And you're roughly his height, *maybe* even a little taller."  #$%&&#$% Yes, I know who Tom Cruise is.  And, well, I was going to go on a rant about how much taller I am than him but after looking him up online...it's apparently pretty close.  Touché Mr hiring manager... touché.

Went back for the photos.  Yes, I had to pay money.  Yes, I feel retarded.  And yes, if I get a single gig as anything (extra in movie, extra in TV show, extra in commercial, in the background of any print ad, etc) it's paid for itself 3 times over.  Annnnd yes, I did rationalize it to myself as an 'experience' in life.  So what the hell right?  Get some pictures taken, pay a little money, get down tonight.  Anyway...I'm there for pictures and I did NOT ask the camera guy if he wanted the first pictures to be pants on or off...but dammit I wanted to.  Sadly, I just thought the rest of the time would be far too awkward...but had I known it would be awkward anyway (mainly due to me), I would have.

I brought 4 changes of outfit.  4 sounded right.  Who the hell knows how to do this anyway, right?  My name is not Avery Freeland and I am not dashingly handsome with my handbag...I'm Nick and I'm more likely to trip on the lighting surrounding the set than to be in GQ.  That said, I spent the remainder of the time laughing very hard (at myself), not looking at the camera (even though by the end he was almost pleading with me to do so), and shifting from left-hand-left-pocket to right-hand-right-pocket.  I can now see why models can get away with being vapid, this is not a mentally taxing endeavor.  He assured me I was doing fine.  I assured him I wasn't.

Halfway through the photo shoot, my self-deprecating sense of humor got the better of him and he showed me the person before me that he was photographing.  She. Was. Beautiful.  And, I definitely didn't need him to give me that look of "FML, I go from her...to you?"  I may have won him over with some jokes...but I did not win anything with style or ability.  Apparently, somewhere in a model's vapidness, they do at least learn to stop, wait for shutter sound, move to new position, repeat.  I...did not learn this.  Not even after 45 minutes.  I did, however, perfect the blank stare...to which, he made sure to show me what I looked like on his camera...multiple times.  If one were to dissect the message he was trying to get across, it had to be this: "look asshole, I shoot kids who do this better than you...here, let me show you the stupid faces you keep making."  Again, naturally, I laughed harder.  And c'mon now, how is a tiger pose not "showing the camera attitude"?  Some people can win by looks (aforementioned Avery), I...need le tigre, blue steel, and magnum (this is a Zoolander reference for those wondering where I've run off to this time).

Lastly, my mission: to be paid for photos that are so air brushed you hardly even recognize me.  That...may have to go on the bucket list.

If the pictures aren't paralyzingly embarrassing, I'll post some when I get them in a couple weeks amid applying for real career jobs (which btw I had some good luck recently).  Otherwise, let your imagination run free!  Free with me?  This is a terrible way to end a blog post.

Step 2: Leaving

I've been asked "why?" a lot.  I wish I was so free spirited as to not have an answer for that, but alas, that's not even close to the case.  So, if you're curious, my reasons are below and then followed by some other errant thoughts.

- I need/crave change right now.  I've lived in AZ for my entire life, why not try a new city/state/country?
- Who is Nick Nash?  Maybe that answer will change...or maybe it'll be nothing nearly so melodramatic. :)
- Melbourne appears to be an awesome city: ranked 2 years in a row as "most livable city" (didn't know this before I booked the flight and made the decision), it has great transportation, good weather, tons of things to do, great culture, good people, running/biking paths, low unemployment, and beach-front.

I've also been asked, "what are you worried about most?"  That question is easy.  It's not: finding a job, finding a place to live, being bitten/eaten/killed by 7 of the world's 10 most deadly critters, and it's not meeting people.  It is: losing touch with the people I've already met.  I've been incredibly lucky with the friends I've made and it would be "the worst" to lose touch with everyone.  I realize this is a two-way street, but...things and stuff.  I don't have a good answer.

Feel free to ask more questions, but I think the more exciting part will be in two days: the flight and arrival.  My accommodations thus far (first week): http://www.flindersbackpackers.com.au/.

Cheers.

Step 1: Leave Everything Behind

Ok ok, so the title is a bit melodramatic, I agree.  But, I believe by the time you read this post, you'll find it hard to disagree that it's at very least true possession-wise, albeit hopefully not true in any other ways.  Just as a recap - because this is the first post to what is intended to be an ongoing blog - this is where I'm at physically, plan-wise, and mentally:

Physically: I'm currently in Tucson, AZ.  My last day here is August 27th, 2012.  I have been here since August of 2002.
Plan-wise:  I am moving to Melbourne, Australia on September 20th.  Between end of August and the flight to Melbourne, I will be in Phoenix, Michigan, and Vegas.
Mentally:   This is the million dollar question...I'd say I'm mentally not here and haven't been for a while.  Having been out of town (literally) half as much as I'm in town for the last year, it is hard to call a place "home" and equally difficult to show friends how much they mean without coming off as disingenuous...because you're ultimately moving.  What I'm looking forward to most about moving, counter-intuitively, is being in one place.  I realize the absurdity of that statement: moving around the world in an attempt to stay in one place that I can call "home".

So, let's see, I started 2012 with an amazing house in a great location, an overwhelming amount of possessions (in retrospect), and a wonderful group of friends.  My furniture consisted of 2 great (and new) sofas, a great bed frame (also less than a year old), a dresser, 2 end tables, a sizable kitchen table, a giant flat-screen TV, a filled bookcase, 3 bikes, and a futon.  I also donated 6 car trips worth of items to Goodwill (https://plus.google.com/photos/106447775896181026498/albums/5778815943974220993?authkey=CM7mm-rO5LqNGw). Yes, I have chronicled all items for tax purposes - feel free to ask, I also have it in list form.  Truly, I'm actually a little upset with myself for putting it all in email (for the list portion) and not putting it in a google doc.  My OCD weeps at the thought...

This all begs the question, "what do you have left if you are lamenting so much over what you have gotten rid of?"  Well my friend, I'm glad you asked.  It's thankfully brief: one large suitcase of clothes (hot weather and cold weather), climbing gear (pack, rope, draws, and trad gear), 2 bikes (MTB still needs to be sold and commuter which will be left with my brother), camping gear (tent, sleeping bag, and pad...which may be left here depending on room), and a few electronics (laptop, iPad, and chargers).  Or, in other words, 1.5 car loads worth (because of the bikes).  The picture below shows what I plan to take with me on the trip (minus the bikes, camping gear, and most of the climbing gear).

My point in writing this - besides an update for anyone curious - is to share what it feels like to be rid of most of life's acquired possessions.  It is/was surprisingly easy, which I don't say lightly.